I always heard about people being best friends with their lovers and it sounded idyllic to me. When I finally felt like the girl I had been dating was my best friend, after almost two years, she dumped me. The day after, I realized she had been all along. The. next. day.
Of course I reacted like a piece of shit over following months and ran any chance I had straight into the ground, because I can’t figure out how to be decent. To think she would still be civil to me is wild, even more reason to strive to more like her in some ways… in a lot of ways.
“The ego says, ‘I shouldn’t have to suffer,’ and that thought makes you suffer so much more. It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical. The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it.”—Eckhart Tolle (via mora-torium)
Maybe I fucking hated you the entire time and every single day? Knuckles, liver, and soul were made for masochism in a goddamn funny way. Friends asked how I lived and Cockroach sprang to mind. Supposed to die, he kept out of sight for the most part, scuttling away from dawn and eye. I’ll rub these pennies together and get a dollar, take the hound out east a little further. Don’t come looking and don’t look back, because we knew all along the chambers were black